Today I sat in the waiting room of Clinic 2 and my eyes filled with tears. Sitting opposite from where I sat the last time I was here, I can almost see myself. A girl so exhausted, so in pain and so desperate for help. During the forty minute wait for my appointment, I went to the toilet six times! Bloody, mucousy poo and PAIN!!! I want to go into the past and give myself a hug and say “don’t worry, keep strong one day it will be alright.” And today it is, I woke up emptied my bag, had a shower,got glammed up and enjoyed my breakfast. I made my way to the hospital without the worry of being incontinent. I got off the bus and confidently walked into clinic, the fact I first walked into clinic 3 instead of 2, was due to my sheer giddiness of meeting my new consultant. I asked the receptionist if my old consultant was lurking around, she said no. Thank goodness, that would have been too much to bear.
My name was called and I walked into the examination room! Great I thought. I could see all the equipment required for a rectal exam, oh fabulous!!! I raised my eyebrows as my eyes were averted to what can only be described as an implement of torture!! I looked for the canister of entonox, but obviously there isn’t any because to quote many a doctor “ it doesn’t hurt” well, I for one would like to shove some thing like that up there arse and see if it doesn’t hurt.
Then the moment of truth, in walked my new consultant. I instantly liked him, we then went through everything. “You have ulcerative colitis” thanks for reminding me doc… “ you still have part of the diseased colon and rectum which I will take out” woohoo I want to kiss him. We talk in detail about what will happen, how I can proceed, it’s up to me. So I am a candidate for J-pouch surgery currently on the waiting list. Feeling a little apprehensive about it but also a little excited! I must be mad.
You so hit the nail on the head and in such a humourous way! (although some may not agree). SO many times I've thought 'how about you have something shoved up your arse and you tell me it doesn't hurt!!'
ReplyDeleteLoving your blog - great work and you must be helping so many others :) xx
Thanks Anna, glad you like it, although I am sorry you can relate to this. Its great to see people all over the world checking my blog, hopefully it will help someone :)xx
ReplyDeleteI think it's odd when doctors say "It's OK I've done this hundreds of times"
ReplyDeleteReally, well YOU will be ok then won't you. . . this is the first time for me.
They often see to forget that.