I had surgery last Monday to disconnect my pouch and form an end-illeostomy. Unfortunately they had to open me up so I was very sore and still am. My new stoma worked straight away, although very very slowly. My wound is looking good and I am starting to feel better. The pain in my bottom has decreased so I'm pleased. It is a relief to have a stoma again, and I know I will always have one. I hope that we will get on well! LOL!
According to my surgeon everything went well, there was some scar tissue but it was a normal amount and wouldn't be a problem. They discovered a cyst on my right ovary and so drained this for me, so I was kind of lucky they saw this. This shouldn't be a problem. He didn't say much else, he was too busy! I am to go home and relax and just get on with life. I am learning to not expect too much and just make the best of things as they are today. I am on painkillers at the moment but no other medications. So I know things could be a lot worse. My mind is all over the place, stoma, no stoma and now stoma...forever. Not the life I had planned that's for sure. I pray to God I will now be able to resume a life that I so desperately want. I want to be the best girlfriend ever because my boyfriend whom I love so much really deserves it. He has been amazing during all of this and I want to make him happy. I'm so overwhelmed by everything that has happened I feel that everything will always go wrong for me, what's next!? I don't want surgery again, I don't want to go back to hospital, I just need a rest from it all.
So I'm home again, with a new stoma and trying to work out how best to care for it, which bags, which seal etc. I'm watching films and eating soft foods and drinking plenty of sports drinks. Everyday is a blessing and being home is wonderful.
x
Friday 27 July 2012
Tuesday 10 July 2012
The Roller Coaster
Hello :)
I've been questioning my need to blog, why don't I just keep a diary instead? Why let the world know? I feel like I'm always moaning, and no one likes a moaner. But yesterday I was reading a blog and I could relate so much and it helped. So although my story of having j-pouch surgery may put some people off, lets remember I'm in the 5% catergory. Hopefully people can learn from my experiences and take something away from reading my badly written ramblings :)
Life with an IBD is like a roller coaster...and I've never liked fair ground rides! The good news is my crohn's disease is reacting positively to the antibiotics and I'm in a lot less pain. Thank you God. Some times I even think maybe I should try and keep my pouch and avoid going back to a stoma. But in my heart I know having a stoma will be more manageable. I just want to skip the operation part and be back with my stoma enjoying life. I've been through this bit so I'm scared, I don't want to be in pain, have an NG tube, catheter, cannula etc etc... I'm also worried how the skin around my stoma will heal because they are going through the old scar. But I can not control any of these things and must focus on the positive things in life.
I am going to the toilet a lot less and also sometimes sleeping through the night which is fantastic. I am eating more and have put a few pounds back on. I have been having really bad joint pains but nothing I can't cope with.
I also had my first counselling session last week, I am going to go once a week for a while, although I will take a break from it, while I recover from my operation. It was lovely to talk openly and not feel that I'm burdening or depressing someone, she was there to listen to me and that felt good. I would recommend counselling if your struggling to cope with living life with a chronic illness.
The operation is only 6 days away!
Keep fighting x
I've been questioning my need to blog, why don't I just keep a diary instead? Why let the world know? I feel like I'm always moaning, and no one likes a moaner. But yesterday I was reading a blog and I could relate so much and it helped. So although my story of having j-pouch surgery may put some people off, lets remember I'm in the 5% catergory. Hopefully people can learn from my experiences and take something away from reading my badly written ramblings :)
Life with an IBD is like a roller coaster...and I've never liked fair ground rides! The good news is my crohn's disease is reacting positively to the antibiotics and I'm in a lot less pain. Thank you God. Some times I even think maybe I should try and keep my pouch and avoid going back to a stoma. But in my heart I know having a stoma will be more manageable. I just want to skip the operation part and be back with my stoma enjoying life. I've been through this bit so I'm scared, I don't want to be in pain, have an NG tube, catheter, cannula etc etc... I'm also worried how the skin around my stoma will heal because they are going through the old scar. But I can not control any of these things and must focus on the positive things in life.
I am going to the toilet a lot less and also sometimes sleeping through the night which is fantastic. I am eating more and have put a few pounds back on. I have been having really bad joint pains but nothing I can't cope with.
I also had my first counselling session last week, I am going to go once a week for a while, although I will take a break from it, while I recover from my operation. It was lovely to talk openly and not feel that I'm burdening or depressing someone, she was there to listen to me and that felt good. I would recommend counselling if your struggling to cope with living life with a chronic illness.
The operation is only 6 days away!
Keep fighting x
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