Is there light at the end of that tight tunnel ?

I went to the hospital yesterday to see my surgeon.  I was happy to see him and explain all the problems I had been having, fissures, abscesses and a lot of pain.  The nurse started to tell me how to lie down for the examination, but I told her I knew the drill.  He gave me an internal examination and subsequently dilatation of my pouch.  It was very unpleasant and I breathed through the pain like I was about to have a baby.  So it is not surprising I have had difficulty emptying my pouch...ouch!  Since the dilatation it has been a lot easier and less painful.  I have another appointment in a few weeks time and will probably have more dilation.  This is a common problem and often occurs because healing of the pouch to the anus often scars and becomes tight so to help this problem it requires stretching.  


I have finished my course of antibiotics and the lumps (absesses) have nearly gone, I have one left which is still really sore but I'm getting there.  I have been feeling a lot happier the last few days and I am feeling more confident things will work out ok.  I'm slowly adjusting.  


My wound has healed now, which makes me really happy.  I had my first shower today without a plaster on.  Its great to finally have a stoma bag and plaster free belly.  


Keep strong and keep positive, life with an IBD is hard but remember you are more than your disease.  x

Antibiotics

After a difficult few days and two weeks of sleepless nights I finally called the surgeons office to let them know I was in a LOT of pain.  The secretary has said she will pass on my information and get back to me.  Luckily the lovely Enhanced Recovery Nurse phoned me up that morning to see how I was getting on and could tell I was struggling.  I told her I had made an appointment to see the GP as I was concerned I had some lumps by my bottom.  She is trying to get hold of the surgeons to discuss what is going on with me.  It's good to know I have people who are concerned and who are helping me. 


I went to the nurse yesterday, so she could check my wound and redo my dressing.  I'm usually chirpy and we have a laugh, but she could she I was not in a happy place and offered me sympathy and made an appointment to see the GP.  The wound looks fine, it still hasn't closed yet, but its getting there.   So come the afternoon, I got out of bed and went back to the doctors, which luckily is a little walk away as I don't have anyone near me to help me.  The GP was very nice and looked externally at my bottom.  Once I had told him my rectum had been removed, he did not want to look internally...seems that is out of his remit!  ha ha.  He had a look and says the lumps are cysts and I don't have any signs of hemorrhoids.  He put me on a course of antibiotics in case I have an infection and to hopefully relieve the pain I'm having.  


So I started antibiotics yesterday and last night I managed to sleep from 12 till 6.30am and didn't empty my bowels until 7am.  Which was amazing, a welcome relief.  I then went back to sleep until 11. I have only been to toilet a few more times, and I'm more comfortable and just feel a lot better in general.  It's bizarre how the antibiotics have decreased my bowel movements and it makes me think maybe I have Pouchitis.  I don't think it's a coincidence that being on antibiotics has helped.  So I will keep going, day by day and hopefully I will get on the road to recovery and being happier and healthier.  


L x

Takedown Misery

Have I done the right thing?  I want a stoma back.  What have I done? a few things that have run through my mind after my reversal op.  Everyone says, the first few weeks or months of adjusting to life with a j-pouch is awful.  Some people will say, you will wonder why you didn't just stick with having a stoma.  I agree, I have been in tears many times nearly every day since I had my op!  I am not a happy j-poucher (yet!)  I keep telling myself, why have you put yourself through this, I couldn't have been happier with life with a stoma, why have I gone and put myself through this!  I am in a lot of pain when I go to the loo, I feel awful pressure and I find it difficult to empty my pouch completely.  I have had many sleepless nights, going to the bathroom between 3 and 7 times.  I have now got a small pile, which is certainly not helping matters!  I had this when I flared with my UC and only now because I'm using my bum has it reared its ugly head.  

Fortunately I have only had two minor leaks, due to misjudging when I can pass wind and when I need the loo.  During the day I am going about 5-9 times.  Slowly, I am getting an appetite back and I am trying to eat little and often.  I am eating the same foods I did with my stoma, although I am sticking to bland foods for now.  No, I haven't fancied a curry yet!  The butt burn has lessened, just by using wipes, having baths and using barrier creams.  

My wound hasn't fully closed yet, but it is getting there.  I have visited the nurses at my GP and also done a few dressing changes at home myself.  The deep muscular pain has only just started to subside and I am able now to lie on my right when I sleep which is great.  

Maybe once the pain has subsided, I will be ok with having a 

j-pouch, I really hope so, because feeling like this is torture.  My poor body has had so much to adjust too, and only time will tell if having a jpouch will out weigh my desire to have my stoma back.  

Back Home after 2 days!

I had my Take-down surgery on a Monday and went home on Wednesday morning.  The surgery went well, with no complications.  I woke up in the recovery room feeling a bit sore and drowsy, I didn't have a catheter and I also had no PCA (Patient Controlled Analgesia) pump, so asked for some more pain relief.  The nurse looked at the wound, and it was so bizarre not having a stoma and a bag on.  I remember telling the nurse, that's it I'm done with surgery, NO more I said hmmm apart from a C-Section and I want twins, two babies, one pregnancy, job done!! We did laugh.  I was so excited the morning of my surgery, I was very happy.  My first poo put paid to that!  I was back on the ward very quickly and was drinking fortisip and water and also got out of bed so I could have a wee.  My stomach and all along my right hand side was very sore, it felt a very deep muscular pain, not surprising really.  A few hours later I had a little walk to the bathroom.  The nurses were all impressed with my speedy recovery, and I did well.  The first night after surgery that morning I had my first bowel movement!  Eeek there wasn't much, but it was very runny and extremely acidic.  I didn't expect to get butt burn that quickly but I did.  The pressure in my bum was unbearable.  I had two bowels movements that night.  In the morning the surgeon came to see me and was very pleased, as I had done a poo!!!  He said I could be discharged that day, which seemed really quick.  I told the nurses I would wait till the afternoon to make sure everything was ok before going home.  By mid day, the pressure was awful and I was in so much pain.  I laid on my bed with my knees up and managed to pass wind! thank goodness!!  haha.  It was a huge relief but the pain, spasms and fullness was horrid.  By the time my boyfriend came at visiting time I was so tired and emotional.  I was crying and didn't know what to do.  I felt overwhelmed by it all, my brain, my body and my poor bottom didn't know what was going on.  I missed my stoma.  I didn't feel I was emptying my pouch properly, I always felt "the urge".  Needless to say, I stayed the night and left the hospital in the morning.