Itis

A few weeks after my operation to remove my completely inadequate colon, my brother asked me if I was in any pain!  Bless him, I don’t think he was quite prepared or ever thought he’d hear me say very sarcastically.  “Oh yeah, apart from my rectum throbbing away at me!”  It seems if a disease or illness has got an ‘itis’ at the end of it, my body just can’t help it’s self.  So it was great when they said you have Proctitis, very typical of UC sufferers.  How wonderful, not only was my colon inflamed but my rectum also.  This led me to shock another unsuspecting person, with a remark to my surgeon just before I was being discharged home.  “I can’t wait for you to get this stupid rectum out of me!”  With a quick disbelieving look at me as if to say, did she really just say that, he then smiled.  To look at me you would never assume that this would be my reality, let alone flow out of my mouth so easily.  It’s like I’ve just said the most normal thing.   Luckily for me I do not get easily embarrassed.  I’m embarrassed by things like singing on karaoke not that I’ve done that in years, but I’m so used to pulling down my knickers for some doctor to shove a camera to infinity and beyond! I don’t bat a pethidined eyelid.   There is light at the end of that inflamed tunnel, I will soon have my next operation to remove that red rectum.  Although ironically being in stirrups for so long during my first op left me with bursitis!