The Roller Coaster

Hello :)


I've been questioning my need to blog, why don't I just keep a diary instead?  Why let the world know? I feel like I'm always moaning, and no one likes a moaner.  But yesterday I was reading a blog and I could relate so much and it helped.  So although my story of having j-pouch surgery may put some people off, lets remember I'm in the 5% catergory. Hopefully people can learn from my experiences and take something away from reading my badly written ramblings :)


Life with an IBD is like a roller coaster...and I've never liked fair ground rides!  The good news is my crohn's disease is reacting positively to the antibiotics and I'm in a lot less pain.  Thank you God.  Some times I even think maybe I should try and keep my pouch and avoid going back to a stoma.  But in my heart I know having a stoma will be more manageable.  I just want to skip the operation part and be back with my stoma enjoying life.  I've been through this bit so I'm scared, I don't want to be in pain, have an NG tube, catheter, cannula etc etc... I'm also worried how the skin around my stoma will heal because they are going through the old scar.  But I can not control any of these things and must focus on the positive things in life.  


I am going to the toilet a lot less and also sometimes sleeping through the night which is fantastic.  I am eating more and have put a few pounds back on.  I have been having really bad joint pains but nothing I can't cope with.


I also had my first counselling session last week, I am going to go once a week for a while, although I will take a break from it, while I recover from my operation.  It was lovely to talk openly and not feel that I'm burdening or depressing someone, she was there to listen to me and that felt good.  I would recommend counselling if your struggling to cope with living life with a chronic illness. 


The operation is only 6 days away!


Keep fighting x