Examination Under Anaesthesia

Hello :) long time no blog!


I've been avoiding writing for a while as I've needed peace and quiet and have not felt up to it.  I don't know where to start! (sigh)  


I had my EUA (Examination Under Anaesthesia) on Monday morning, it was one of those days where everything seemed against me.  We couldn't, get a taxi at first and then managed to call one and waited for it in the rain for AGES!  We hit several traffic jams,   was stuck behind the bin men and had a taxi driver who didn't seem to know where to go even though he had a SatNav!  We finally arrived really late, I had phoned them on the way to say sorry and I was coming..honest!  Once in hospital feeling fraught, sick and dehydrated, we stood waiting for the lift.  Which turned out to be broken!  Argh...So we climbed up to the fourth floor which was a complete mission and made me realise how ill and unfit I really am.  Once we were at the Surgical Admissions Lounge we sat down and got our breaths back, I wasn't on the list but I knew to sit and wait for my surgeons.  I got my crochet out to take my mind off things and then saw various different nurses and my surgeon.  I didn't have to wait long and was soon in my gown and slippers and being escorted to theatres.  Richard held my hand and we gave each other a huge hug and kiss and said goodbye.  Once in the anaesthetic room, my nerves calmed as the Anaesthetist and assistant distracted me.  I was soon feeling very sleepy and then the next thing I'm feeling pain and realise I'm in the recovery room.  The nurses got on top of my pain relief and I was soon taken up to the ward where I dozed until Richard came.  


I had a horrible afternoon, I was uncomfortable and really didn't want to go to the loo.  I was petrified it would be excruciating. A few hours later the surgeon came to see me.  He looked sad and I knew it wasn't going to be good news.  He was really sorry this was happening to me,  and according to the Prof " I have a very crohns looking bottom", I burst into tears!  How can this be happening to me.  He said that I was right, I had lots of very deep fissures and also ulcerations.  I got the impression it was pretty awful in there!!  I said that now he can appreciate how much PAIN I'm in, and he upped my pain meds.  I also started two different types of  antibiotics.  I was told the J-pouch is not an option with crohns, if that is what I have.  I told him I wanted an End Ileo (stoma) and it all removed.  He said that they would not be able to remove the troublesome J-pouch and anus if I had crohns as this may cause further problems.  


So we wait for the biopsy results!!!  And go from there.  I cried uncontrollably when he left and Richard did his best to comfort me.  At that point I just wanted to die!  Sounds traumatic but that's what I felt.  We waited a further six hours for all my medications and finally arrived home and got straight into bed.  


I'm devastated and I just want to get my results and put a plan in place so I can not be in pain and be healthy again.  I want my life back.  


Please pray that God gives me the strength and courage to get through this.  


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