A Bum Deal :(

So here it is, I’m writing it down and actually acknowledging that my bum REALLY hurts!! Apparently my doctors thought my proctitis would be fine now I’m not using my bum anymore.  I never was convinced and asked if I could do suppositories if needed.  It seems I have reached the point where I must tackle this.  I have been feeling pain and have been emptying my bum of a lot more blood than usual.  I feel upset that this is still happening but I will try and get on top of things.  Suppositories may just be the answer, but I was so enjoying leaving my bum well alone.  It really is a relentless, stubborn, nasty and cruel disease.  If I was listening to a friend saying this I would tell her, “You can’t just ignore this and think it will go away, do something about it.”  So I will heed my own advice and sort it out.  I really want it gone (my bum), sometimes I don’t even think I want a j-pouch, I just don’t want to have to make these decisions.   Oh dear! the pity party may just have arrived, oh how I hate a pity party!  I need a slap around the face, get a grip.  It’s only a sore bum, if I can cope with my colon trying to bleed me to death then I can cope with this.  I think a call to the consultant and a push for a date for surgery, or a gentle reminder that I’m still here coping with all this, is definitely in order.   Well I’m off to buy some KY!!! haha