J-Pouch surgery in one week!! EEeekk!!

I knew these three weeks would fly by and they are. Only one week now until Jpouch day.  I woke up with terrible pain in my bum today and had a lot of blood and mucous to discharge.  Once this was dealt with I was fine and enjoyed a lazy day.  I have completed my pink baby blanket, so that was very happily ticked off the list.  I have now started a project for me :) I am crocheting myself a cushion to take into hospital, I thought it would be a nice thing to have to cuddle and cheer me up.

I have been busy chatting to my friends on the Colitis  Facebook page today, its great how supportive people are.  You always come away feeling that there are people that really understand how you feel.  You also get the information you really want to hear and appreciate.

I have been slowly sorting my little flat out, as I know I wont be cleaning for a while! one of the perks.  I am getting ready practically, physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.  Haha! No wonder I'm tired.  I feel I'm in a good place though, I am positive and upbeat and can't wait to be rid of this last bit of disease.  I'm sure I will weep when my doctor first declares me disease free.  What a journey...oh! I could officially be an X Factor contestant now...its one of the requirements.  The ability to sing is way down on the list but if you have  been on a journey your in! haha!

I am officially rambling now.  Hope your all well.

L x

Surgery in two weeks

This time in two weeks I will probably be in a recovery bed, after having my rectum removed, j-pouch and loop illeostomy constructed. Wow!!! that's major!  I got the call a week ago and I am feeling a mixture of emotions ranging from, nervous, excited, scared, happy,annoyed,angry,sad,overwhelmed.  Mainly I am nervous, but I am trying to be courageous and keep positive      Worrying will not change the outcome only use up my precious energy, so I am trying to give up negativity and think about all the positive things.  Like how for the first time in years I will be able to say I'm DISEASE FREE!!!! How good does that sound.

Ultimately I have made an informed decision that I am happy with and that is the most important thing.  I am well aware of the complications but to me its worth a go...I could be one of the lucky ones and this time next year could be writing about how my j pouch is working out for me...and telling you all the joys of butt burn!!! haha...that would be an interesting read.

I really want it too work, but if it doesn't I would live a content life with a stoma, in fact that is my main reason for being so upset.  This may seem ridiculous to some people but I will mourn my stoma going, I love Winnie completely..she has totally saved my life and given me back ME!!! Lets hope this new stoma behaves just as lovely as Winnie has...a new name will be revealed when I have my new stoma :) yes people I'm a little mad, but it keeps me smiling.

I hope you are all doing well.

L x

Blog roll

Quilted, embossed, coloured, scented, 1ply, 2ply, recycled, strong, soft, moist, eco-friendly, luxury, standard, cushiony, ultra-cuddly! I know the last one stumped me too.  These words are all used to promote the common bog roll, toilet paper, dunny roll, loo paper, bum tissue whatever you want to call it.  The reason for this post is today’s revelation, I live in a household which currently has one spare loo roll.  This would never have happened when I had UC, as I would generally have a whole cupboard filled with the stuff.  Is this life as an ostomate? Wow I love it.  Ok, so it’s not much of a big deal, but it really represents something massive for me.  It highlights the fact that after a two year long flare up, I am no longer on the loo 24/7.  
There is much debate within the UC community, for and against surgery and it really is a personal question that only one person can answer, you.  For me, I had to have surgery, it was a must and I’m so glad I did.  The only regret I have is that I didn’t have it sooner and as a planned elective surgery rather than the emergency situation I had.   I consented to surgery and 18 hours later I was in theatre.  I spent most of those 18 hours, in absolute agony and running backwards and forwards to the toilet, whilst negotiating the drip stands which were plugged into the wall which meant sitting on the loo with my canulated arm stretched out so I could reach the toilet.  It hadn’t even dawned on me that, this night would be the last time I would poo out of my bum for a while or ever.  Believe me, I do not miss it one bit, I completely love my stoma, whom I named Winnie (The Pooh).  In fact one of the first things I said after coming around from my op was “I love my stoma”, and I really do. It has completely saved my life and if I have to have a permanent stoma I will deal with it, and enjoy a fulfilled life with a smile.  
 I am a little apprehensive about j-pouch surgery, but I know there are so many success stories out there that I am going to be positive that I can be one of them. I am seeing my next surgeon in a few weeks, so will keep you posted.  Now, I really should stop blogging and go buy some bog roll!  


L x