Today I sat in the waiting room of Clinic 2 and my eyes filled with tears. Sitting opposite from where I sat the last time I was here, I can almost see myself. A girl so exhausted, so in pain and so desperate for help. During the forty minute wait for my appointment, I went to the toilet six times! Bloody, mucousy poo and PAIN!!! I want to go into the past and give myself a hug and say “don’t worry, keep strong one day it will be alright.” And today it is, I woke up emptied my bag, had a shower,got glammed up and enjoyed my breakfast. I made my way to the hospital without the worry of being incontinent. I got off the bus and confidently walked into clinic, the fact I first walked into clinic 3 instead of 2, was due to my sheer giddiness of meeting my new consultant. I asked the receptionist if my old consultant was lurking around, she said no. Thank goodness, that would have been too much to bear.
My name was called and I walked into the examination room! Great I thought. I could see all the equipment required for a rectal exam, oh fabulous!!! I raised my eyebrows as my eyes were averted to what can only be described as an implement of torture!! I looked for the canister of entonox, but obviously there isn’t any because to quote many a doctor “ it doesn’t hurt” well, I for one would like to shove some thing like that up there arse and see if it doesn’t hurt.
Then the moment of truth, in walked my new consultant. I instantly liked him, we then went through everything. “You have ulcerative colitis” thanks for reminding me doc… “ you still have part of the diseased colon and rectum which I will take out” woohoo I want to kiss him. We talk in detail about what will happen, how I can proceed, it’s up to me. So I am a candidate for J-pouch surgery currently on the waiting list. Feeling a little apprehensive about it but also a little excited! I must be mad.
